Advice for Jerry Jones: Keep Terrell Owens
To: Jerry Jones, Owner and General Manager of the Dallas Cowboys
Re: Terrell Eldorado Owens
Mr. Jones,
I read the reports from your recent press conference in which you scolded the media for their insatiable need to get an update on whether Terrell Owens will remain on the Cowboys roster for the 2009 season. On the heels of that, the chattering class is now of the belief that you will keep the statistically viable receiver, despite his combustible, controversial ways, that have been discussed ad nausea since late in the season. Many folks will tell you to cut ties with the former Niners and Eagles star, whose tenure in those cities ended with all the warmth of prisoner exchange, before the vibe in Valley Ranch grows more poisonous.
My advice: Keep TO.
Jerry, you are about the buzz, the limelight, the hype. You do not want the circus setting up shop in your brand new stadium only during the off-season; you the Cowboys to be under the media big top at all times. Winning is important to you, but that is a “been there, done that” situation. Winning gets you interviewed on “Mike and Mike”; buzz gets you “Entertainment Tonight” and “The Today Show” as well.
You want large press conferences, rows of cameras mounted in and outside of Valley Ranch not just after the big win, but for the big trade, the lineup change, the locker room spat, the social scene. Some days, you just want to let Ed Werder know what you think about the new judge on “American Idol” and if he is not on his daily perch in the Cowboys media room, how will the world know.
You don’t just want the Dallas Morning News and ESPN covering the Cowboys, but also CNN, Time and US Weekly (I wouldn’t even been shocked to learn that it was your idea to steer Jessica Simpson toward the All-you-can-eat buffet for a little tangential Cowboy family coverage). Isn't that why there is not one but two reality shows focusing on the Cowboys this off-season despite another late season fade? After all, there are naming rights still to be sold, not to mention season tickets, jerseys and foam “We are #1” fingers.
Sure, the Steelers just won their second Super Bowl in four years while your squad has failed to win even a playoff game in over a decade. Yes, Steelers nation also has a large fan base with a bunch of non-front running fans who wave their terrible towels that have probably been passed down from generation to generation. However, I bet they do not have season ticket holders in all 50 states AND the UK like the ‘boys?
Give the Rooney’s the trophy; you already are “America’s Team” and now are on the verge of international domination (come on, admit it – you looked into signing David Beckham as the Cowboys kicker. Ok, my bad, we’ll keep that between us. I’m sure Posh would be worried about pale complexion in the Texas sun anyway).
For all those reasons and more, you must keep the (eighty-) one, the only, Terrell Owens. Like you, simply winning games is not enough for TO (though in fairness, Owens has not drunk from the cup of glory, unless you count his back-to-back MVP trophies for the celebrity hoops game during NBA All-star weekend). Why keep your mouth shut and focus on the field when you can attempt to engineer a coup against your quarterback and tight end in the hopes of getting more passes thrown your way? Besides, what is a little backstabbing between friends?
Seeing as the cap relief will be rather minimal, the on-the-field argument for cutting Owens seems rather weak, especially considering he did have another strong statistical season despite his quarterback missing time with an injury. Roy Williams, a.k.a. TO-in-training, is still a babe in the woods when it comes to replacing “the player”, as Bill Parcells derisively called Owens once upon a time, on and off the field. He was part of the posse attempting to get fewer targets thrown to tight end Jason Witten and more to the outside targets, but is ready to be the leader of the insubordinates
Jerry, your decision seems rather obvious. Keep TO.
Former Cowboys running back Duane Thomas once said, “If the Super Bowl is the Ultimate Game, why are they playing it again next year?” Jerry, follow his lead and keep TO. As you well know, Super Bowl glory is fleeting, but if you feed the beast, wall-to-wall coverage of the Cowboys, regardless of record, can last forever. Just like a foam finger.
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